My Father's Promise

  Loosing my daughter is the hardest thing I've ever experienced. I've least expected something like that happen to me, but it happened. I lost my dear Abby - My heart has been torn, my spirit weakened and my fears darkened. I have felt broken, shattered into pieces. Abby became a huge part of my life, I was a breastfeeding mother and stayed home to care for her. She was a top priority in my life. I cherished those moments of happiness with Abby. So now, my new normal is to only remember Abby's experiences instead of creating them. I will always hold on to her memories! She's still in my heart and she will always have that place in my heart. 

  My next step has been the scariest yet incredible journey thus so far! I've had thoughts which I've never thought before, I've fear things that I never feared before and I felt more davastated than I ever have before. But I am healing! Through this healing process, I keep finding God's promise for me that He will never leave me nor forsake me, 

 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6

 There are a few times since Abby's passing that God seemed silent or He couldn't hear me. I now understand David's fear of being left alone by God in the midst of davastation and fear,

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest." - Psalm 22:1-2

  But maybe those were the times when God was at the doorstep of my heart, waiting for me to surrender my sorrows to Him. That's all He wanted from me--my burdens. Just like any parent wants when you see a child suffering, all you want to do is take away their pain and sorrows. You'd carry those burdens no matter how heavy they are, that's exactly what my Heavenly Father is doing for me! Once those burdens are lifted, all the peace and joy runs like a river in my soul. 

  I still every now and then feel a bit of love missing from Abby, but the love of my Father is greater! 


Thanks fOr REadIng!