I Surrendered

So I am writing today about my life at the moment. Right now the Holy Spirit has done some wake up calls for me and its the time to act! I say I been asleep (mentally not there) for the past 5 months and just last night I couldn't sleep for the life of me! Mostly because I have reunited my passion for photography and for making such an impact with my camera. ever since I been back from New Zealand I have faced new challenges, hardships not only with my family and friends but also with myself spiritually. It all hit me one after the next from the moment I came back. I knew it was God putting me up for the test! It all overwhelmed me! I just shut down and went into my comfort zone. I didn't want to face the new challenges God set for me.....I didn't want to face those issues I left behind. So my passion that I had in New Zealand has slowly faded away and that motivation to reach out wasn't in me. Each time a rejection or challenge comes to me I felt so discouraged and kept pulling myself away from it! I was also pulling myself away from God.

I haven't realized where my life is going til I looked in my bank account.....I haven't had a job for over 6 months and no income coming in. I been living off for what I had. I have searched for a job in photography but I felt so discouraged for the rejections I got. I stopped trying and gave that up. I then have searched for just any job just to keep an income coming. Still to this day I haven't had a job......but just last night I realized....I'm pulling myself around in my own strength instead of relying on God's strength! I have been sitting in my little comfort zone where I was content and avoiding any discouragement that comes to me.

I have felt discouraged Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially, and not only that but I was in pity with myself. I knew I was waiting for something but I didn't know what. And the whole time I been asleep, God has spoken in my heart saying "Come to me....Come to me.....Come to me Lauren!" I didn't listen to that voice for 5 months. Last night, I surrendered that! I felt my passion again! That fire rolling in my soul is yet rolling again! I'm alive! I have a God who all powerful and I can win this race with victory! Even through those challenges I face or rejections.....I can stand relying on the ONE who gives me that strength!

At the moment I'm in the middle of a job search again and promoting to bring my photography into a success! I am aiming to achieve my goals by doing the Will of my Father! What would happen next? I cannot tell....but I am so ready for it.....I say "BRING IT ON!"

Thanks fOr REading!